It's 9:15 at night and you started your day at 7am. Haven't had dinner,still have work to do and you're stuck on the phone with a chatty prospect. In a hurry to get off the phone you roll your eyes as he/she continues to tell you their life's story which has nothing to do with real estate.
Tired of listening you finally interrupt: I hear ya. How about we speak about this in more detail tomorrow? You basically told them: So what. Who cares? I don't want to hear it!
Smooth move ex lax. You interrupted at the most critical phase of the interview. The life story is what it's all about, not the house or the interest rate. Showing properties, writing contracts or securing a favorable rate on a mortgage are key elements in our professions but it's not the reason we are referred business.
I collect a lot of intimate details: pay rate, bank account balances, credit history, divorces or bankruptcies. Sharing intimate details with a stranger is uncomfortable so have some respect. Their life story is them giving you permission to know them on a more intimate level so don't blow it because you may only get one chance.
Relationships cannot be one sided unless you're Lynn Curtin trading a face lift for an eviction notice. They're hoping for some kind of relation. Something, anything that you can all relate to regardless of age or background. When they're done share a similar belief or experience that you can both relate to. Most of us don't listen very well which is why so many companies make money teaching listening skills and why so many marriages fail.
Here's a freebie I found for you compliments of mind tools. Don't thank me now, thank me tomorrow- It's 9:24PM, I haven't had dinner yet, I have more work to do and thank god all I have to do now is submit - proxy error, submit - proxy error and then a final submit instead of on the phone following my own advice.
After that I can do my own version of Chopped using an orange, chicken breast, peanut butter and gummy bears. 
How to Shop Mortgage Rates
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North County
*1902 Wright St 2nd floor Carlsbad CA 92008
New Office!
5360 Jackson Drive #220 La Mesa CA 91942
Nevin Williams NMLS #69651
*Not a licensed office location
Fast - efficient - competitive
www.SanDiegoHomeAndLoan.Info
Hi Nevin,
Listen and learn
Good information
Hi Nevin, I agree. I do feel that I become good friends with many of my clients and when you build lasting friendships, you do empathize with things that they are going through. We learn things about them that their friends and relatives don't know, and it's natural for them to feel close to you. I feel that in some ways we become counselors (especially in short sales), and when the transaction is over, we remain close. I enjoy their company when there is no stress, but as a friend, I need to be there for the tough times too. And, if you want to think of it just as a business deal, then realize that you will get more referrals if you are patient and kind.
Nevin:
You're a funny guy and a good writer! And no, I'm not going to tell you my life story. That's here:
http://activerain.com/rmikebrown
http://www.google.com/profiles/RMikeBrown
I'm afraid if I tell you, you'll convince me to BUY something and the next thing I know I'll be writing a check.
Keep it coming! Some of the funniest posts on ActiveRain. And I still like your haircut.
Robert - Thanks! I didn't know the supermarket sold lobsters that big.
Susan - I agree and have had similar experiences. Bottom line- do what you love and do it with compassion, integrity and passion and the referrals will come.
Mike- Thanks! I think I'm pretty good at plagirism. LOL I can sell you...but I only take cash, no checks.
By the way, the rogaine isn't working for you my friend.
Nevin, this post really hits the nail on the head. In this business, and many others as well, relationships have to be 2 sided to work out.
Great links by the way! Love the mind tools one.
Exactly! Sometimes I do have to shut it off any where between 5-7 PM as I start at 4 AM (I will answer your call at 5 AM if I can). We all work crazy hours and sometimes forego meals and family time because of the craziness of the business.
One word - balance:)
Craig - Thanks!
Renee and Drew- I'll never advocate that someone work until they drop dead! I guess I should have included the line: If you don't weant to be on the phone for a long time with a prospect, let it go to voicemail. Thanks for stopping by and sharing in my blog! : )
BTW- family first!
Oh so true, Nevin! They want to BE HEARD and by listening you show you care! Don't put off your client - if you do chances are you won't get them back!
Leesa - Exactly!
This is great! Fried gummy bears in Wontons . . . who would have thought?!? And you, certainly, have great listening skills. Dr. Williams in IN
Carla - Hee hee Won tons and gummy bears. The Doctor will see you now, or should I say hear you now.